rainbow baby
I have been having lots of dreams with disconnected imagery In this one Shane/not Shane was cheating on me. It had become so ordinary that I didn't notice. My house was full of extra children making messes, leaving food and bedding and crumbs everywhere, all of them boys. The house was dark and under cared for. There were puppies in the house too, lots of tiny puppies and I remember thinking, "Why didn't Shane have this dog neutered? My mom will think it is totally irresponsible to bring so many unwanted dogs into the world". Next I am standing in a room/not room, my boys are nearby playing. I am taking off the head of this human size knitted stuffed doll. It is beautiful and knitted out of undyed wools of various colors. I am pulling out the strings that sewed the head to the body, suddenly I realize that I am not okay with my life. I turn to Shane/not-Shane who looks trim and gorgeous in tight geometric patterned pants and a button down fitted shirt, and