I dreamt of monkeys forced to sing and parade about, acting like ill behaved humans for advertising companies. I saw the horrible treatment of these beautiful creatures at the hands of those who treated them like a commodity. I saw the similarities between slavery and I saw the wretched little we have done to overcome our arrogance... we have exchanged it but not overcome it.
I dreamt of a mother, heavy with child, lying on a table in a spacious and modern restaurant. Her belly exposed. Her husband stood beside her rubbing his knuckle in a circle around her navel. He said, "We will be making a landing pad" (bruise), implying that everyone would perform this same knuckle treatment on the mother. Meanwhile the child in eutero squirmed to move away from the accosting knuckle. I thought how much I miss community and want a child to be born into a circle of friends.
I dreamt of a man trapped by his inabilities, who disguises them with masculinity. I watched him escape through a very long, narrow, vertical window with slatted glass, tear each panel off one at a time and squeezing through, run wildly down the road.
I dreamt of a road that was covered with snow and steeper than a sheer cliff. I dreamt of the impossibility of reaching its end. Then someone told me to call on the keepers of the road, who have been there since the dawn of time to provide safe passage. I called, a woman showed up... she told me something, but I don't remember what.
I dreamt that I had left Bodhi in the care of my very aged grandmother and forgotten. I had gone to Urban Outfitters to buy clothes and accessories. When I realized what I had done, I tried to check out early by telling them my son needed me. They didn't care, so I abandoned the basket of stuff and hurried out the door, complaining to another employee about my treatment as I left.
I awoke feeling panicked about the state of my mind, about its preoccupation with the mundane to the exclusion of the divine. Panicked about its servitude to my ego, my self, with all its petty irritations, desires and prides. I felt an abiding sorrow, like one who has lost something very dear, dearer than the self that cries, but can't remember what it was. I woke feeling terribly alone, hopeless and lost.
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