thoughts

I am in some sort of simulation environment.  There are others here.  There is a room called the thinking room.  Each room is meant to simulate or clarify a part of life.  I have avoided the thinking room through the whole dream.  I decide to go within.  As soon as I step inside all these men begin rushing me, yelling, I turn to leave.  I think the door is locked but it opens easily.  I step outside and two children rush out.  One young black boy jumps into my arms.  Another older black boy rushes to my side.  A large man tells me to come inside.  I know that once in, it is like a maze.  I ask the older boy to my right if he knows the way out and he becomes suddenly quite clear, responding, "Yes!".  I return inside.  This time no one yells at me, but I begin following the man instead of the boy.  The boy lags somewhat behind me, hesitating.  He seems to want to go in a different direction but I am not thinking, just following the man who is setting the course.  I walk through a large kitchen area with several professional kitchens on platform.  Nearby there are things for sale, a store full of "stuff".  I think to myself, "It is a good thing that I am not hungry".  I keep following this man to a table where several women are seated.  I choose a spot and settle next to them.  Now I am waiting for food, solely because the man told me to have a seat.  Serena is suddenly at a nearby table she hints that she would like to have her clients around her.  Without thinking I stand up and move all my stuff to her table.  I am surprised and perturbed that no one else is being as accommodating.  She wants a photo and I start wishing for my camera.

I wake up.  Suddenly I am aware that my thinking is governed unconsciously by the actions, words and thoughts of others.  If people are confrontational I retreat.  If they are accommodating I follow their thoughts and needs, wants and desires.  Even the boy, who knew the way out, was ignored, because he was my thought.  I changed tables, chose to eat and followed a stranger into the maze without even considering the possibility of thinking for myself.  I didn't need to eat or even go in that direction.  How does this reflect my own thought process and my own choices.  Am I making them if I have relinquished my right to choose for the chance of being liked or being nice or being safe?