I am in bed with my first boyfriend. I love him with such sweet innocence and the complete abandon of youth. His long black hair is shorn close to his head, I caress his head, softly. We curl against one another, aware that this may be the last time. I seem to have all the dimensionality in the dream. I am pleasing him and I have a revolting taste in my mouth... I need to vomit. I get up. I realize that I have a larger life now. I go to pick up my sons. He remains in bed. I look lovingly at him, his gaze is fairly absent, and I pick up my boys and walk out. Knowing that time and time again, I will choose my boys over him or any other reclining man, disinterested in my children.

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