oneiros

So many dreams gone unrecorded of late but here is a snippet from last night. I am walking with Owen along a trail. There is an incredible animal up ahead, positively beautiful like a cross between a child, panda and bird. We stare in awe for sometime and then a woman loudly proclaims "Oh that's just a ____________bird (can't recall the name), and the spell is broken. Owen and I walk on and I tell him, "That's the power of words Owen, they can steal the magic and the power of the thing they describe unless the person who is giving you the word understands the nature of the thing and imbues the word with magic, with respect, with awe". We see a Mountain Goat lying in the shade of a great rock (reminding me of Bodhi) and stare in wonder. I wake up

I am in this odd trailer house. I think it is a pensione of some sort, but every traveler and occupant has left a few bags or piles of stuff and the small rooms are brimming with it. I have to use the restroom. I find one near the back of the house and begin to groan slightly with the effort. Just then I hear a toilet flush immediately to my right, just beyond a thin separating wall. I feel mortified. A man walks out, having to pass through my bathroom to exit. He is short of stature, smooth skinned and radiating a good nature. He smiles broadly at me from my throne of humiliation, says something in a joking tone, steps to me and places his lips on my third eye (just between the brows) and blows a kiss into my skin. I feel a strange sensation. Like my third eye is opening, filling with energy, so much energy in fact, that it is almost uncomfortable. It becomes filled with light and pulsing with energy. We both comment on the strangeness of the experience. We are now forehe

I am dreaming I am escaping something. I have a travel companion. I am walking through the fruit orchard of my youth. There we find a naked female dummy. I pick her up and throw her in the trash, she has an upraised delicate tattoo across her bum (the body seems a bit too lifelike). We continue on. I am afraid of what is chasing me. I carry little with me other than a grocery bag of food. These two cousins catch up to us, One has two heads on long leg-like necks. He is hurt and wants to hurt us. In the end he falls in love with us and we are able to leave. This delay has given our pursuer time to catch up. It is my first boyfriend Jason Wolfe. He has razor blade finger nails that he flicks at us like daggers, then spikes and more razors. I pick up several and shoot them back at him, eventually slicing his throat with one of his razor's. As I do I realize that he has a female counterpoint. She is rotund and looks like my moms dear friend Nanceye(whom I love very muc

I am sitting with several people in a large room. They are all talking of death, of cremation and of burial. I guess I am inside the waiting room of a indoor crematorium. One older woman says that she doesn't care for the tradition of cremation. It is so removed from the Earth, she will prefer burial. I think it is odd that there is no ritual involved. I look down at a bowl of food I am eating. It is ground meat, rice and seasoning. It occurs to me that I am eating my father. I continue eating for a time, more as a burial rite and ritual for my Dad than out of hunger. I am a vegetarian and the notion of eating meat, even my Dad, sickens me. I eat half the bowl and put it down. I have eaten enough and my Dad will always be part of me.

I dream of a cat... white with brown and black spots. I am trying to put the cat out because it is being naughty. The cat won't have it. It is scratching and yelling. I grab it by the fur at its neck and back and carry it to the door. Its claws are out and looking for a fight, it squirms around and wraps all its limbs in a body bind on my right hand and wrist. I ask for help. Shane and my brother help me shake him off. I leave and the boys go outside. I turn around in time to see that they are trying to crush the cat with the legs of a weight bench. I am appalled. I rush outside and tell them to STOP. They do. I am so disgusted with them. I walk away.

Dreaming I am taking off in a "boat" from Catalina Island (I say Catalina but it looks more like Coronado), Bodhi is with me (although maybe it isn't Bodhi just a child the same age). The boat consists of a small upper platform on which sits a throne-like wooden chair. Instead of a sail there is a mosquito netting canopy suspended from above and cascading over the sides of the chair. This Bodhi/child runs around the perimeter of the chair on the 1 foot buffer before the waves. I know this boat is a bit like an iceberg, much larger at its base but hollow inside. It is night and we are sailing through midnight waters and starry skies. The throne is also a self-digesting toilet which I utilize by squatting. As soon as this is finished it returns to a throne with pillows. I pull the child close to me and sleep beneath the netting and stars. When I awake I find that I have drifted close to shore (Oceanside, but maybe what it looked like 200+ years ago). My boat is n

I dream My mom has died. I find this out at her house. Her female roommate or lover is there waiting, she is young and blond. I make it clear that the house belongs to the family. I ask what happened. They tell me she must have frozen in the woods one afternoon while walking the dogs. I know this is false. I demand an inquiry, suspecting foul play. I become so sad and upset. I start to wail and my heart swells to breaking with sorrow. I am furious and sorrow-filled all at once. Mom gone? How could that be. I find the people who did this. A man, he looks like Don, is a King. He was behind it. He captures me along with a number of other men. My family is nearby. My hands are tied. He thinks its over and stands above me to illustrate the point. I reach up with my head and bite his penis. I bite off several pieces. He falls. I stand. I say, "Now you owe me a favor!" He looks at me horrified. I realize that he will go on hating me and that will lead to on

I am in a battle of some kind, with supernatural forces. I go into a lodegepole canvas tent with my daughter or sister. We sit and we wait. The door opens and a big breeze blows in... my sister/daughter turns to me and says, "Open your heart and let no fear enter". I do this and suddenly I see this incredibly powerful being, clad for battle and glowing with power. She gives us a red mantle, a light weave, with woman power symbols throughout. We go back to our regular lives. In the middle of the night I feel that there is approaching danger. I take up the mantle and go on a journey to bring it to several women, Kelly Duvernet, Shannon, Kathryn. Somehow it symbolizes a time to act and carries with in a power that I don't understand, but believe deeply in.

I am in bed with my first boyfriend. I love him with such sweet innocence and the complete abandon of youth. His long black hair is shorn close to his head, I caress his head, softly. We curl against one another, aware that this may be the last time. I seem to have all the dimensionality in the dream. I am pleasing him and I have a revolting taste in my mouth... I need to vomit. I get up. I realize that I have a larger life now. I go to pick up my sons. He remains in bed. I look lovingly at him, his gaze is fairly absent, and I pick up my boys and walk out. Knowing that time and time again, I will choose my boys over him or any other reclining man, disinterested in my children.

Lots of dream images last night... I am in a public restroom- it is spacious, sunlit, with lovely windows, more like a public bath. As I enter with a friend, I tell her that the facilities are always dirty in here, "I know", I say, "because I dream of them often". We walk passed nasty baths overflowing with human waste trying to find a clean place to use the facilities. Everywhere there is waste. It disgusts me, but I think to myself in the dream, 'I dream this often and there is usually a clean spot over here". I find it and we use the restroom. Next dream. I am facing a battle. All my people are on the roof blending into the surroundings. The enemy arrives and I, a child, am placed inside the walls of the house. I have to climb through the walls to the highest point to escape. I am not found I escape. I wake up feeling blue, irritable and crabby.

I awoke in a sweat last night, chest tight, throat clenched... full of longing. These late nights of sheet tossing have become more frequent. In those moments I seem to be facing the bottomless pit of my own unknowing, my forgetfulness, my ache. I fill it with thinking, with babble brain, but I don't rest until I am spent from all the thinking and the flow of longing subsides into the quietude of sleep.

I am at Lynn's house for lunch with her and Joanne. Her home is very simple, a couch made of a long covered pillow with a back, throw blankets, a few plants, wood floor and windows. The kitchen is in the same room with a lovely window opening onto a pine grove. I dish up all the soup bowls and the bread. When we have finished eating I clean everything up and then I begin folding up throws and arranging pillows. Joanne leans over toward me and says, don't clean everything up, you did everything already. She should do something. This shocks me. I remember that I should have brought a salad and I feel mortified. Joanne looks at me and laughs, "You should do this all the time. Have guests over, since you love doing it so much, serving people". Internally I bock at this. I don't like having guests over, it is too much work. I wake up. I think that I probably don't love serving any more than I love control... having the environment just so, making sure e

I have dreamed a lot lately, that I can fly. Except I seem to require wind currents to do it---which are often unpredictable. Last night I could fly, I think I turned into an Eagle when I flew, I remember rescuing someone and looking down to find them carried in my talons. I begin my decision to fly as Angelina, than I run and leap off something, at this point I shift into an Eagle and catch a current. One time I didn't catch a current and transform, I fell hundreds of feet into the Ocean below. It was huge and seemed perilous, but a dolphin came and helped me to a dock. I climbed up through many layers of life. I seemed to be hiding, in fear of being discovered, lest I become like everyone else...people who thought the level on which they were standing was the only level. I ascended many levels before I saw the true sky again and longed for flight. I got distracted however, by the dramas of life and forgot to fly for quite some time. I wonder if I was on yet another leve

I am walking near the ocean and I see Tom Cruise get out of his car with his daughter. She is shrouded in a tent from the hospital. She has cancer. I go to him and ask if I can be of assistance. He hesitates, so many people barrage him daily to get a photo. People rarely genuinely care about him or his family. Next dream I am married to a man that I deeply love. We have a girl child together. My husband cheats on me. I love him still. There is a scandal but I don't leave him. He is from another dimension or planet. There are several others like him. Some warring against others, but beneath the war they seem to get along, if not actually like each other. We wear Victorian clothing and talk on cell phones. It is a contradiction. His people are vulnerable to dirt. Dirt thrown on them, or into their mouths can kill them or make them very ill. Water also makes them ill but they need to drink it. On their planet, they fly in machines that are akin to highly mechanized h

I can't remember any real dreams, only details, I can fly, I am flexible, I am living in the woods, I am not afraid. I awoke feeling deeply peaceful and rested and content. I was repeating to myself, "almost, nothing, almost, nothing, almost, nothing...........". Almost is so similar to nothing...almost reaching the top is not reaching it...almost waking up is still sleeping...almost seeing is still not seeing...I felt recharged by this idea of almost, nothing. The message? Keep going, even in the darkest hour, even when slumber beckons with all its might, even when the mind lulls toward complacency- with love and gentleness and kindness- keep going...almost reaching the aim isn't what I choose...I can just keep reaching toward the good, the wise, the true...keep reaching until at last my hand finds a hold and my foot discovers solid ground.

Owen and I get onto an elevator. It goes down, sways and seems to go sharply forward. We work together to balance the sway against the motion. When we exit, we are far away from our initial destination and have no real idea how this happened. We are jogging thru Mexico/Prescott on our way back. We pass through markets and bars, at each one I think to myself how sad the loss of culture is and how we (as people)throw on a new coat of paint and cover years history. We finally arrive near the elevator (now it is Danny and I) we try to tell mom about our experience but it doesn't make sense. We step out and see an eagle who comes to us and gently cleans us all over with her/his beak, even removing any particles of excrement from Danny/Owen. Then we realize that whatever happened in the elevator will only happen when it is accompanied by an Animal omen such as this.

I am seated at a long table across from the one I love, there is a mirror behind each of us, so that we can see the other as well as ourselves. (I can't really distinguish if I am the man or the woman, however I think I am looking through the man's eyes at the woman). I say I love you, but this shadow voice beneath the words says I hate you- suddenly I can see our shadow selves , with their vacuum black eyes and colorless faces. Than I see that our bodies have become mere shells, through which the shadow speaks and acts. Then I see the true self briefly inhabit the form- the eyes are beautiful, rich and deep, like the eyes of a seal, full of kindness and a penetrating depth. Then the empty eyes return and the shadow self speaks again. All this happens relatively quickly while the one I love and I sit across from one another and feelings of rage and love, and all the variants in between seem to pass through that moment. _________________Next dream...... I am with several o

I had a series of strange and highly vivid dreams I am with Michelle and we are trying to find a recycling plant. It is on 12 and some other street that begins with a D. We drive all over in search of it. We climb steep hills trying to find it and brave strange settings. We finally find this briefing about recycling.. on it there is a list of recycling items, a why statement about recycling and some innovative recyclers...one recycles old items into tears and jewelry. There were several other dreams and vivid imagery, but my bed is calling me back.

There is a large goose. It has been shot, repeatedly. The bullet holes left huge holes in the goose's body. Within these holes are small tide pools. The goose is still moving about. I feel incredibly sad when I see it. There is a man who has lost his way. He is otherwise a good man. He plans to harm me, but I don't believe he is malevolent. I feel sad.

I have just heard of a mentally challenged child that is an orphaned distant relative of mine. I fly a great distance to get him, pay the adoption fees and bring him home. He is one child of twins, his brother died at birth. He is very small. I bring him home he grows rapidly into a very shy 5-7 year old. He has straight dark hair that falls across his eyes. He is easily angered and a bit explosive. I love him and understand him. He is bright and not truly mentally challenged, he is just wild and refuses to be tamed by the world. I see the end of his life...he dies an old man in Hawaii, land surfing into a hairpin corner which he can't quite make. I am talking to a beautiful young woman, as we are talking I realize that she has some kind of disease which causes her to age disproportionately. She is still beautiful with her gray hair and wrinkled face (her body is that of a nineteen year old).

I am talking with this woman at her home. I tell here, the only thing we really need to do to wake up is to let go of all attachments to the body. She says to me, that she doesn't feel that is quite right. I say, the body attachment and its emotions and feelings are what confuses all of us into the insanity of form. She listens than explains that our feeling are essential, sure our feelings take us into suffering but they also give us the longing for God, the ache for our Self, for union. (At this point she began telling me a detailed philosophy on the topic, I thought to myself, is she reading this, because it was like a perfect soliloquy on the topic). Still uncertain, we were now sitting on the sofa and her beautiful blond haired daughter came in, she climbed up into my lap in a full hug. I said this is why I want a girl, because they keep on loving you and hugging you. I asked how old she was, she said-- eight,eighteen,eighty--all slurred together. The woman was now pr

I have inherited a business and home from an uncle or something. Unwittingly by inheriting this I have stepped into a terrible intrigue. There is some kind of paranormal research going on, some kind of danger. I begin to see what is happening too late. We (My family and I) are turned handed over to some very angry men by a man we trusted and cared about. The men enter my home and kill each of us. First we are placed on top of a rope net, which breaks, we descend hundreds of feet and are shot at on the descent, we land on a series of other nets before falling into a vat of acid. Mom and I are preparing to go at the same time, she asks me what will happen and I tell her to just hope we die along the way...We do and suddenly I have reincarnated three generations prior to the beginning of all this insanity with the hope of ending it.

There were a number of competing dream images that filled my mind upon waking. Most of them seemed to be thematically related around male/female imagery. There was one interesting dream in which my teacher and I were meeting with a leader in the spiritual movement. She was a prominent figure who had, for one reason or another, been at odds with us. She was a very confident and elegant woman. Upon discussion, we discovered that there was very little that we did not agree on. We stood and hugged one another--there was a beautiful heart opening energy exchange, during which time she said to me, "You give freely from your liver. It is a gift, almost professional." I continued hugging her and felt a huge outpouring of energy, but I was a bit confused because it felt to me like I was opening my heart. Wake up. Interestingly after a bit of research I unearthed a few things that I suppose I already knew in the recesses of my thinking but they hadn't made it to the forefro

I dream of fleas. Fleas everywhere in my home(not my home in Lakewood, but some otherwise unknown dream home), on the carpet, climbing up my legs...everywhere. I think I got them by holding rats or cats. I worry about the plague briefly. Shane goes and gets some kind of insecticidal foam spray and sprays it on all the carpets. I worry about Bodhi who is sleeping nearby.

I am living in San Francisco again, with Shane's parents I think. We are in Cole Valley/Noe valley. I decide to look for a job. I only live a few blocks from the clothing store I used to work at. I get a job there for 10$ an hour and clothing benifits, but arrive late. I apologize profusely and say that I am going to quit because it is sometimes difficult to be on time when I have a young child. Patty and Rainie both love me and they insist I stay. Soon I am surrounded by old friends and I feel such a strong sense of well being and belonging. I wake feeling joyful and the sense of well being carries over.

Owen is in a public restroom. He is scared. I walk in and he tells me that he is afraid of violent people and that someone may try to hurt him. I tell him to lock the door. He ignores me. He tells me that in his fears he is in a desert. Suddenly we are both in a desert, no water, food or shelter. A group of women are gathered together doing art. Three people are destined to know eachother deeply. One of the three really needs the connection and friendship. I am in a bar, there is a beautiful Jamaican man with dreadlocks looking down at me from the bar, which is unusually high up. He calls, "What you lookin' for child?". I don't know. I go into the restroom and try on my first boyfriends hat. It is a red baseball cap with a wolf on top. It seems wonderful to me. Shane sees me trying the hat on. I dismiss it. Wake up.

Dreaming Several disjointed images 1 I am in a house, the rooms wind and twist. I am trying to reach Shane. I have to pass through a number of rooms. I walk through one room which is obviously haunted by a woman. I feel this seep of darkness and negativity. I begin chanting prayers, as protection against the feelings rising within. I find Shane. I tell him of the haunted room. He is interested but unafraid. I am afraid and chant my prayers of protection louder and more frenetically. Shane merely walks into the room. 2 I am working at a clothing store similar to the one I worked at in SF. My boss is there and I am late. There is a woman selling jewelry outside. Beautiful handmade jewelry, but I don't have the money to purchase it at present. There is a man dining in a boat down by the water. He is wealthy. I speak to him. He says it costs a fortune to dine with this view, but a little less if you dine with your back to it. I can see the view of the sea for fr

Dream There is a war between the US and the Middle East, specifically Iran. It is taking place on US soil. There are hundreds of thousands of people displaced from their homes. I am trying to communicate with them, to say something. I feel this strong pull of Spirit to speak. I feel that Spirit has something to say and I am the vehicle chosen to say it. I can't get the collective attention. I try again and again, but to no avail. I stand on a hilltop overlooking the scene and feel a deep penetrating sadness. I think to myself. This is just like when we tried to get the native tribes of North America to ban together against the English invasion. They were too isolated in thought and culture to unite and so they fell. I stare out and begin to cry, saying, "We are like that. Unable to relinquish our class, beliefs, status, and culture, in order to join together for the common good of our planet. We are unwilling to release our limitations of consciousness so that tog

1 I am at a house. Someone (a child I think) has torn the pages from a large illustrated tarot book. An ex boyfriend is down stairs. He wears the bottom half of a round box, tied with a string, around his neck. He is talking to an ex girlfriend of his, about allowing her to sleep over. I can tell that he is trying to hurt me. It works. I stand up and yell an obscenity at them. I go upstairs. All the torn tarot pages are now blowing across the yard and some of them are pressed against the glass windows. The tarot seems interspersed with retablos and such, but I don't seem to notice they all look like tarot to me. I wake up 2 I am in a used clothing store managed by Emory, my old boss from Lifeway's (a new age personal growth bookstore). He is hiring some questionable characters to manage the shipping and delivery. I am looking around with friends. I am looking for a few things to take to Hawaii. I find some interesting things. Women are also getting their hair don

I had a difficult time sleeping last night. I lay awake from 1:30 to 5:00AM unable to sleep and feeling progressively more anxious. A ball of tension that began in my throat, spread across my chest and into my solar plexus. When I finally managed to stumble into sleep (after a stiff sleepytime tea and a chapter in a rather dull book), this was the dream I was met with: Owen is the same age as Bodhi. He is at his uncle's house (My ex's brother) and I discover him seated at the base of the toilet in the upstairs bathroom. He is covered in dried urine and it's sticky yellow nastiness is on his hands and clothes. I pick him up just as he is about to put the mess in his mouth. I say, "Let's wash you off sunshine". I do. I feel furious at my ex, furious. Later, when Owen is no longer with me, I confront him. He says he will take him away from me. I say, "Like hell you will". I call my divorce lawyer, Brent and the whole divorce drama starts al

I am in a large home. My boys and I are climbing up the side of a cliff to a cliff dwelling. The boys are leading the way. There are two others with us, one is a kind and gentle man. I am the last to come. I hear a knock at the door and so I leave the cliff after I have made sure that the boys are safe at the top with the others. It has grown dark and the sides have become almost too shear to traverse in the poor light. I walk to the door. It is my ex husband( looks a bit like a heavier, middle aged version of Micheal Douglas). He has come to give me a refrigerator.... I know with this gift he will try to take my children. I refuse the fridge, he tries another door and another, this goes on until morning. The boys climb down (a bit more like my brothers now) and they are aghast that I have refused the fridge. They accept it and my ex walks right in to my home. Next dream. I am in a foreign country, maybe Mexico with a European flair. I have two daughters and a baby boy on

There is a man, he looks like a combination of Baraak Obama and Tiger Woods. He holds me close in an embrace and says, "You need only follow your bliss." I reply, "Yeah well it isn't always that easy to find" He responds, "Of course it is, you know your own joy it is a matter of trusting not finding'. The whole time he is holding me to his chest in a lovely warm, unobtrusive embrace.

I am about to be kidnapped. There is some sort of gathering outside our home, FBI, I think. At first we believed that I could escape in a car destined for Chicago, but it becomes clear that I can't. I call Shane-a and tell him what is happening and ask him to make sure and tell my Mom and Bertie. He asks what they are going to do, I reply, "Brain research". I go willingly so that no one is hurt. Suddenly I am Jessica Biel and the captors I am with are using me to study the effects of beauty on animals to see if there is a change in the neuro-chemicals in response to human beauty. I am talking to Sharks than swimming with them and later I am in a room with all these underdeveloped lions- actually deformed lions (their hindquarters are severely deformed) and they look more like men in lion getup. One lion isn't fully buying the whole setup. He is talking and trying to remember who he is . Then he remembers something important. He stands erect (He is a man) an

Snippet I am traveling underwater looking up at the surface of a great river. I am watching geese from below, watching them swim. I can see beyond to the sky and geese in flight.

I dream I have two children. One boy, who is probably 4 years old, and a little girl who has just been born and is in the hospital. She is very small. I go in to see her and she is so hot that no one can touch her. The doctors, in their white coats are preparing to intervene in some way. I say, NO! I know that this is a part of my children's development- the way they transform. They become very hot at the brink of transformation to the next level. I think to myself, "They take after their father". My son is beside me, holding my hand. He becomes uncomfortable and wishes us somewhere else. Suddenly we are on the sand dunes in the Sub-Saharan Africa. I say, "This is beautiful. Let's come here again to look around, but for now we need to get back to your sister". He has a difficult time wishing us there because he doesn't really want to return. He wishes us close though and we journey a short distance back to the hospital. Next dream I am sitt

There is a house on a hill. The sky looks a bit bleak and foreboding. The house seems a bit gray. I walk in and it is the home of an almost president (no idea who). They show me around and take me to the basement. The almost president's wife is there. She is doing all kinds of traditional American arts but they are all housed in these preservation tubs. The tubs contain things like: embers which are dehydrating jerky, a crochet project of an apron, pickling eggs, knitting, and tons of other stuff. The woman begins pouring vinegar over the surface of things to preserve them. The almost president gets a call on the phone telling him that there is a plot on his life and the lives of all non-republican candidates. He gets ready to leave. There I am in this underground room, when these "bad guys" show up. I have a knife fight with them and think I defeat them but then I wake up battered and bruised some time later. A sort of epic battle ensues. In the end it tu

I am standing in somebodies back yard, when two stags come running up, neither of them has a head and one of them is missing a leg as well. They are still going through the motions of grazing. Now I hear someone cock a gun and a few hunters step forward. The headless dears turn and run into the forest. I begin to cry, a deep wailing cry. I feel so anguished over what is happening, this blatant disregard for nature.

I walk out of this stone house and onto a stone path. Suddenly everything exudes light, dazzling light, like energy pouring out of every cell- shining. I am dazzled. I lay down on the rocky path/road and stare up at the yellow leaves of an aspen/Cyprus tree. It is so beautiful, golden light upon blue sky, then all the dust particles are visible. Each exuding light, shining, radiant, awesome. I then become self conscious, I am lying in the middle of the road. A bit odd really and people are surely going to think me strange. I stand up and walk further. Then I am walking along a flat zen-like wooden bridge/pier from a beautiful glass building toward a rocky shore (looks like Ireland or Scotland). The water is lapping on both sides, reflecting light and sky. I am carrying two staffs: one is tall and topped with an amethyst stone, the other is shorter and has some other stone. I am using the staffs to propel me forward in a fun swinging fashion. I find the small staff to cumbe

I am in Hawaii, driving through inclement weather (snow) in disbelief on my way to the North Shore/Napali coastline. Shane is with me, as are Owen and Bodhi. Shane and Bodhi decide to play by the ocean. Owen and I walk to the walled city (not really a place I've ever seen in or near Hawaii). It is like being thrust thousands of years back in time and suddenly we are entering the walled village of Hawaii. The paver's are all lava stone as are the side walls and pillars. There is a sharp descent. I say to Owen. This is where the ancients lived. We begin descending and are barely able to keep our footing. When we are close to the base, I turn and look up. It is so sheer, I don't see anyway that we can get back. I briefly worry about Bodhi and Shane. Then we are at the bottom and there is a fruit stand full of fresh strawberries, guava and mango. There is woman who is holding a strawberry, she crushes it in her hand and begins reading the pulp. She is telling me

There was this beautiful young woman, who had really poor relationships with men. Over the years I watched as she systematically chose men who were unkind, selfish or already involved. By the time she was in her late 40's she was embittered and had a wall around her heart to any man. Than this young man showed up (He looked a little like a combination between Baraack Obama and Tiger Woods), he was kind and generous and open and giving and available and genuine. At first the woman’s walls were too heavy and he was too young and too good to be true etc. Then she began to see what a rare seed he really was. She began to open, to blossom, and to love. Within two weeks they were married and passionately deeply and fully in love. The woman appreciated him in a way she never could have before because of all the pain she had been through and how many bad apples she had snuggled up to at night. They were walking along a beach on their honeymoon and he told her he was leaving- she w

Dream snippet: I am standing over a large underground water system that is extremely polluted. The waterway is full of garbage, plastic and trash of all kinds float down stream. The stream is a volcanic tributary that is heading toward the center of the volcano. I worry, as I stand above the scene, unsure if the fire of the volcano can eliminate this much garbage. I wake feeling concerned about the state of our environment.